I did it

Yep, I did do it indeed, went to the end of year "party" and I was not the only person who came alone, a couple guys did as well, but most people were with their partners. Thank god a friendly guy came to talk to me, so I sat with him and his friend and chatted mainly with them, about chess, board games, rebus puzzles, fantasy and science-fiction books, was cool. And they're my age, although I was right that the average age was older, I'd say 40's. I'm glad I went, I really need to get out more, lol the one guy asked me what I do in my spare time, I said nothing and that I go out with my parents on the weekends coz I'm just supercool like that, the guy on the other side nodded, I think he understands how it is.

The buffet was disgusting, I don't know what these people eat at home, I find it funny how people do not know how to cook and think crap food is good, bleuch. Now the venue was shit, so the food was no surprise, but even at supposedly good restaurants in Durban, the quality of food is not up to par, South Africans don't seem to know how to make sauces, anyways...

Surpassed my expectations of leaving early and stayed on till just after 11pm, that's the latest I've been up since I spent a weekend in Cape Town during August. Up at 5am today, feel drowsy owing to the "late" night, but it's my last day of work for the year, woo hooooooooo, so that will keep me going for the day. I've photocopied stuff to take with me to Germany so I can phone from there and ensure certain things happen on the right days. You can't get away from work on holiday.

A week from now I will be in Germany, I will have just met up with my cousin at the airport, and will be savouring the lovely cold, ahhhhh. It has been one whole year since I kissed a guy, which happened to be in Germany last year, I wonder what will happen this time....there is a guy I want to see, someone who wanted to marry me this year and I turned him down, I think I have lost him, I'm scared I will go over and face some heartbreak, even though I broke up with him this time last year, now it's my turn, how stupid. I wish I could make up my mind about things before I make a cock-up, although honestly I think I changed my mind when he moved on because when someone isn't interested then you want them more, hah. Otherwise, maybe I'll find a hot guy at a new years party, german guys are yummy, it's weird going out and seeing guys I find attractive.

Weekend round-up

So, the weekend was pretty uneventful, except Saturday morning I went with my parents to pick up some spares, and lo and behold it was right next door to my biggest crush of the year's business. (who is my only crush as I never meet guys) So anyways, it looked like they were open and working, what a perfect opportunity, argh, but I hadn't been for laser hair removal in a long time as I was timing it for my holiday, so I didn't go over :( and we had to wait for a whole hour at the company we'd gone to. What a waste! maybe I should have gone, then I contemplated phoning today just to say I was next door to his place on Saturday and wanted to wish him meery Xmas, how lame! So I chickened out of that. I'm pretty sure he already thinks I'm a loser thanks to how nervous I get when talking to him, and blurting out the dumbest things. Argh him and his powerful good looks. I'll call him GG from now on, in case I ever have anything to post about him (let's hope so)

Sunday it was a lovely 34 degrees, without adding on 10 degrees for the humidity, I somehow got heat stroke from driving in an air-conditioned car, and puked when I got home and proceeded to pass out as my head hit the pillow at 5pm.

And today I grew some balls and rsvp'd to an end-of-year "party" which will be held this Thursday evening. Now we are allowed to bring as many friends as we like, I rsvp'd for one, I think I am going to be the only person coming alone, oh well. My mom said she's proud of me that I'm going, lol that's how big a loser I usually am, woo hoo for me, and since it's a catered event I have to go now so no chickening out as usual. oh it's "party" in inverted commas because I think if you averaged our ages it'd be around 50.

My weekend is ruined

This saying is so true "when it rains it pours", yeah, pours hot stinky shit all over my head. My stomach is in a tight knot today and all I want to do is go home and fall asleep so I don't have to face the world.

Firstly, someone I thought I could trust appears to have been talking to people behind my back, all thanks to my big mouth and stupid habit of telling people (I thought I could trust) things I shouldn't. I should blame myself as I know better, but this guy is supposed to be a friend, and has been my dad's friend for almost 20 fucking years (he's much younger than my dad if it matters). Why does the human race constantly disappoint. I've stayed home on weekends for the past 5 years, I avoid everyone, and thought I had become an invisible person, then wanker comes along and makes me feel like I did over and over all those years ago when I would hear shit, untrue, gossip being spread about myself. I just want to leave this place forever. To leave behind all the people who hurt me. And really, this guy only knows us through work, I don't see why he must concern himself with talking about me to anyone.

The shitstorm continues this morning when I hear that someone who was indirectly involved in my company is querying something. If this dumb woman causes any crap, she will pay severely. I don't want to write more in case she turns up dead and with a trillion billion to 1 chance that someone reads this and figures it out it was me :) hey wait, I'm not even typing this part anymore, it's the alien growing inside me, I swear.

Thirdly, the exchange rate is giving me an ulcer, I can't stop checking it, I'm up to about 20 times a day, everytime I see it i cringe inside, stupid weak rand, why are you so sensitive?

By now in the slim chance anyone is ever reading this, hello! I bet you're thinking you've stumbled onto a real nutcase now. I think I better go....

Fatigue

So far this year I have taken 1 day of leave, yes that's what I typed, ONE days leave, I am so exhausted. This morning I managed to sleep until 5:40am so I was happy, much better than waking up at 4:50am yesterday. My body clock is so messed up, I usually wake up before 6am on the weekends, sleeping in for me means making it to 7am. I never would have thought I'd become such an early bird, funny how things change, but work is the most important thing in my life, the only thing I have in my life at the moment, so it's all good.

I can not wait until I am on holiday and hopefully sleeping in late, luckily I will be in Germany so the sky won't be light until after 7 or 8am, woo hoo. Today is exactly two weeks until I leave, flying on the 25th, hopefully that means the flight won't be fully booked as people may not want to be travelling on Christmas Day. I wonder if the airline will give us anything special, will wait and see. I don't know why but I always look forward to watching the movies on the plane, it's like a highlight of my trip. Flying back though will be torture as I'm on some old plane without the individual screens and playlist, I plan to party hard the night before I leave and sleep it off on the plane, that way if the old crapper of a plane goes down I'll be too tired to care :P

First post ever

Yowzers! I've taken the plunge, now whoever stumbles across this blog can judge me and leave nasty comments, yay. Nothing much is happening in my life at the moment, and I feel quite boring in a way, but nevertheless I have many a story to tell, no matter how banal, maybe this blog can be used to put children to sleep at bedtime, heck I'm almost falling asleep typing this.

At the least, it gives me something to do, I have way too much free time on my hands.